About Me

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Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
This is a one-stop site where i will post entries about my life, as generally as my interest(s), updates and mostly on how i see things that's happening around me. Some entries might be emotional-fused, so please don't judge me, for i am just being true to myself.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

A habit i picked up since 2008

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I'm already so good at talking to the walls.



This is the situation. You have a large space, a spacious room maybe, and normally 4 erected sets of wall to make it up of. Try screaming in it. You could only hear yourself, the best of the last thing you get. The least of what you have to go by. Fun isn’t it? Not for me.



Yeah, kind of stupid on how it sounds, but some metaphors I used, often tells my current situation, possibly my emotions. Sometimes it sounded as sarcastic as I got motioned by it, but that are not entirely what I have in mind. Perhaps those are more to what my disappointment sounds like. Yes, a bit too narrative of me. You know, when you are in search in something, probably from somebody you know, sometimes those people already had the answers, but I wonder why they are so afraid of being honest to others, yet again toward themselves. Why are they really afraid of the simplest thing in the world? To be true is not so hard, quite frankly - well, if you are not a persistent liar, that is. Or are you? Ask yourself of the answer.


Just when i thought it was really something great, yes, or so i thought. Something greatly upsetting was not the one i had hoped for.



Potentially, I raised my hand in life’s classroom. Getting spoon-fed was not my intention of being in it. Sometimes I raised both of them, searching for what’s what and what’s not. It is agreeable, not much of my luck shines upon. I did always caught up with the same process over and over again - probably stumbled on the same drench of mud, fell off the same cliff and yeah, stubborn of me – that some had spoken.For me, these dangerous cliffs are often the safest of place to hang on to rather than just roaming free on the place where everyone seem to feel safe, in the open. Now, I won’t be saying on how much it does make some point to say that I like to be in the situation where, as dangerous as it seems, hardships was all that does the teaching.



Having said that, sometimes it does get too irritating, in terms of how it teaches us, don’t you think? By the means of how satisfactions comes after a dreaded battle between the truths and the not-so-true-by-nature elements in life. Ah, you can see the big picture by now. I don’t frame my words as beautifully as an expensive piece of furniture. That’s most probably the cheapest way to even describe something to say the least. Pointless – having to even start discussing on it.



So I hoped for the best of what I haven’t felt or seen or probably endeavor to. Linked from A to Z, I often cross paths with Y, and should I say this, Z was never seen for some of the things I need. It’s there, but to reach upon it – questionably very hard. Oh by the way, I skipped the alphabets from time to time, just to make ends meet, so to speak. This is the part when I’d really appreciate if you can go figure. When sometimes things are not meant to be spoken of, well this is it. I really don’t enjoy discussing such matters, coz even the closest people to me are unaware of those paths or shortcuts, people would call it by. It’s no secret to some, but let me just say, I don’t write those things on my forehead for the viewing pleasure, or is there any pleasure given out of it?



Constellation of my life was seen, yet it was difficult to even recognize the marking of dots leading to one another. Probably not a straight-forwarded path, I just strafe together with it. Canopied by the sense of stars shooting ever so beautifully without being aimed for? Still, it’s not even a millimeter close to making out a picture, yet.



Ah, the ramblings could last forever. Just my view on my own life, so I could not go bias over it, even some would say otherwise.



How's the sideburn? ;)