Upon confusion.

The title suggests it.

I am a bit confused of what i see and feel of lately. I want something and yet i don't. I don't want something but yet, i feel i need it. Why is this so complicated?

Ah, i am keeping myself reserved as for the moment. I don't have to explain myself as yet. Just keeping it low for a while. Wait. A while? How long? Permanently? Am i able to do that? A total shut off?


Sigh. Let me be.

I wanted it to be the best. Sacrifices along the way is inevitable. I need to be in focus. Even if it means to see a disaster as beauty.



Or, is it?



OH, January 2010 is coming. I can't wait to leave some of my experiences in life behind me. I need to move forward. I am keeping some goodbyes inside, yet to be said.


It kills me. Literally.



My emotional state : ......