Had a weird dream last night. The were some giant butterflies in my room. The weird thing is, some of them turned into giant grasshoppers. They infested my room, puts me in a terrified state and i was basically crying for help. I was so scared and covered myself with a blanket. I tried to chase them away by shouting so loudly, but to no avail. Those giant grasshoppers noticed i was scared and started to pound on me, clawed me, and stomped on me. I was covered by my own blood. Lots of it. I knew at the moment that my time would be over soon. I was helpless. They grew more and more agitated and ferocious. I screamed for the final time. I passed out from exhaustion.
When i finally came to, i tried opening my eyes, upon hearing shrieks from many of the giant grasshoppers. There were someone else in my dark room. Alone. Fighting with those giant grasshoppers. It was a homeless man, seeing that he was dirty and naked. He was covered with grease, smells rotten and somehow mentally challenged. My friends were already dead, even they were equipped with some "would-cause-fatal" weapons. (I don't know where they got those weapons from, though) Those beautiful butterflies are all dead, as well. I got terrified again.
I startled, as i watched that homeless man fought bravely, ignoring the pain he received. I was only strong enough to weep. I never saw his face given the fact that it was very dark. I can only see silhouettes of figures in the room. That homeless man fought with his bare hands! I can see claw marks on his back. He was bleeding, too. I feared for him. He fought and fought and fought. I watched in silence until he finally torn apart the last of the giant grasshoppers. They were plenty of ooze and blood in the room.
Then he finally turn around and looked at me. I still can't see his face. I can only his weak smile. He came forward, puts me to sit and then puts his hand on my chest. He then, disappeared in a form of light. Only then i saw his face!
.................................................................
I WOKE UP WITH A FAST BUT HEAVY HEARTBEAT. SOMEHOW I WAS CRYING. THAT HOMELESS WAS ACTUALLY THE OTHER SIDE OF ME!!! THE FIGHTER IN ME!!!
I got up from bed and started to rationalize. What was that all about?
I can only speculate, but this is what i think best suits the dream's meaning.
1 = Butterflies : Friends, family and the society.
2 = Those giant grasshoppers are : My Problems in life.
They won't go away. They are hard to deal with, constantly revolves around me. These grasshoppers are also my previous sins ; always haunts me indirectly. Some of them are also the people around me. From beautiful butterflies, they turned ugly and started to show their true faces. Always blend in among the other people in my life, just waiting the right moment to hurt me.
Those grasshoppers are also my anger. It will hurt me somehow. True, i have already absorbed too much, and when it breaks, no one can help me except for myself.
3= Dark room : Which are exactly what my room is like. I have painted it 100% black up to the ceiling.
It means i wanted to be in my own world. Yes, it goes similar to my characteristics. It may be a small room, but the i created my own dimension. It feels big. The dark room is the world. It is so big yet so small. Go figure.
4= The dirty, smelly, and homeless man : I find this hard to write. That homeless man was me. At least, he was my sub-conscious self. He's dirty. He smell bad. He was naked.
It means i don't need to have some things in life that i may need, but somehow it tells me i can survive even though i may end up with nothing. This fact got me interested, that the fact that in the end, we all have nothing to keep. We will depart with nothing in possession.
The homeless man being dirty means my soul is tainted and i need to do something about it. It may be a slow progress, but i am trying hard. I got dirty because of my previous sins...
The homeless man smell bad? I can't see the meaning of it. Maybe i need to go to a spa or something? :)
The homeless man was naked : It clearly shows what i can do with what i know, rather than what i have. Perhaps this is what kept me going.
----------------------------------
So the true meaning of the dream?
I need to be in control of my own life! I won't let anyone bring me down! I know i have flaws but i will use these flaws to defend for myself! I can't trust too many people! I need to be stronger! I need to have faith in certain things! I need to stay truthful just the way i have always been!
I have to be myself in order to see the world as i may wished for, because in the end, the only person that can save me is MYSELF.
